Desperado
by Queen of Snupin
Summary: Yet another SnapeLupin fic with two O.C.'s . Oh yea, slash warning: mm, Snupin, SnapeLupin, SeverusRemus...etc. Oh yea, incest in the first couple paragraphs...bad times. Previously known as Snupin. On hiatus until June.
1. Nightly Madness

_Disclaimer:_

_I, the Queen of Snupin, do NOT own the Harry Potter world, castle, characters, creatures, etc., no matter how much I wish I did. They all belong to J.K. Rowling, and you will worship them as such!_

_Olga and Nina DO however belong to me, since they are based off of two people I know very well and who wish to live in a slashy world of Severus and Remus. If you don't like gaiety, then don't read my fic, I'm sure I won't miss your eyes._

_On a final note, I love you all, and hope your days be filled with much wonderful thoughts of Severus and his nighttime activities._

* * *

**Desperado**

Severus lay staring at the tattered canopy hanging dejectedly over his head as the moonlight filtered in through gauzy curtains and fell across his tear stained face. He did not know how long he'd lain there, hours, days, but as the owls swarmed back and forth across campus, delivering notes of vast tragedy, he realized that he didn't care for time. There was never enough of it, and it always moved at the wrong speed. Late nights had a tendency to drag on endlessly as their inhanitants lay in wait for the rays of dawn, of hope, and moments of bliss where whipped away before they were able to come close to satiating one's need. With these thoughts, the drowsy, broken, potions master drifted into memories of days gone by, years ago.

-------

The story began with a night much like its end. A young hook-nosed boy lies silently, cold, and alone, in his attic room, listening to the drunken rage of his middle-age wizard father. He was at it again, the horrible excuse for a man, husband, father. Nightly madness, after long shifts at the ministry followed closely by a trip to the pub. Sheltered beneath moth-bitten covers, the boy whimpered, as he heard a sickening smack and then silence. Young Severus knew what was coming, and like clock work the door to his room swung open with a reverberating crack as the metal doornob made contact with termite-eaten wood. A great shadow covered the scrawny 17 year old as his father's large hands wrapped around his neck and threw him to the floor.

"Ge' ou' of your fucking bed, you lazy arse faggot!" said the blazing-eyed man, his massive figure imposing itself upon his son, crushing his bones and causing tears to welter behind the stone, raven colored, eyes.

Words and vision spun together as the ripping pain returned to Severus' lower abdomen, and his father's body began to thrust itself into his malnourished figure once more. God-damn holidays. Severus looked at the ceiling, the spider-webs, the torn and burning photographs in his small fireplace, anywhere but at the face of his attacker that so resembled his. They'd sent him home for Christmas. They'd called this home.

-------

It was the first day in January when a badly bruised Severus boarded the train once more. His mother's broken smile as she'd waved goodbye, haunted him for miles as the slow moving vehicle chugged relentlessly along hillside after hillside. He lay with his back to the door of his corridor, with knees bent and cold eyes staring out the window at the passing scenery. His greasy black hair hung in strands over his face; a curtain dividing himself and reality.

He didn't hear the door open.

"Oh look Padfoot," sneered a 17 year old James Potter, "It seems little Snivelous here doesn't have a traveling buddy. What ever shall we do?"

"Why Prongs! I do believe it is our duty to accompany this unfortunate boy to his destination, it is, after all, the right thing to do." The two boys pushed their way into Severus' cabin, followed slowly by a third.

"Come on guys," the third half-heartedly protested as he locked eyes with a resigned Severus, his light brown eyes filled with what seemed to be pity. Severus harbored animosity toward pity. It was an unfair, un-natural, and judging emotion.

"Oh please Moony, we're only being nice!" James smiled while forcing his luggage into the overhead rack. Oh goody, they were planning on staying.

"This poor," Sirius took a moment to savor his pun while spinning his silver insignia ring, "boy has no one to talk to, no one to share his intimate life details with on this ever so long ride across half the country. We are only providing him with some company."

Remus shook his head and sat down next to his friends on the opposite bench from where Severus lay with his eyes boring holes determinedly through the plate-glass of the cabin window. Remus looked pleadingly at the other boy for some recognition that he had tried, and it was all Severus could do not to lash out. If he called that pathetic, three word sentence trying, then the black eyed boy hated to think what his going along with something looked like.

Steadying eye contact with the slightly taller boy, Severus said, "For evil to triumph, it only takes one good person to stand by, and do nothing," and although the message was clearly meant for Remus, Severus soon regretted saying it in the presence of Sirius, who promptly got on his knees saying:"Please, oh master, share with us your tombs of wisdom!" Glaring at the arrogant wizard, Severus shifted position. This was going to be a very long train ride.

-------

Life, as Severus had become accustomed to, resumed as soon as the bedraggled boy set foot inside of the old oak doors. Candle light illuminated the happy faces of old friends, meeting up once more. Severus sighed, they'd only been gone a week, and yet girls clung crying to their friends refusing to let go. Never one for sentiments, he pushed through the crowds and headed gracefully toward the stairs at the end of the hall. He was enveloped by a mass of hyper-active black robes.

"Oh Sevvie!" cried the robes, "it's been so long!"

Severus smiled slightly and placed his hand on the head of the excited 5th year, pushing her face out of his thread-bare sweater vest. "Careful Olga," he whispered, "people may think I posses human affection."

"Oh please," smiled the curly haired Slytherin, "You? Human? Who would ever presume to think that?" She bobbed up and down excitedly, her brown curls bouncing playfully, so that she looked like an expectant puppy. Severus sighed and gave her a hug. She squeeked with joy and then looked at the staircase from which she had blocked him.

"You're going to the dungeons already?" she sighed disappointedly.

"Olga." All he need say was her name as explanation, and the girl moved silently aside. As he walked by, she reached up and touched his black eye softly. He nodded and went on his way, into the dark, where no one could see who he was, and no one could hear he was crying.

-------

Olga's line of sight followed her friend's back as it disappeared into the darkness that was the dungeons. The spark in her eyes had dimmed slightly when they took in Severus' bruised eye and cut face masterfully hidden beneath make up. When she had first met him, he'd been sleeping off a rather disturbing charms class, (Flitwick had turned his feet into marshmallow peeps as they were chirping incessantly), in the dungeon she was supposed to use for her potions retest, and she hadn't noticed him, until his voice permeated the air.

"You don't want to be adding that," he said, gesturing slightly at the vile of Scarab-Beetle eyes she had just then measured out.

"But, it says..." she'd begun.

"Add two milligrams of beetles' eyes," he recited. "I know, but you don't want to. It's a waste of supplies since it's only for color."

She'd taken his advice, and found herself the proud owner of an O on her exam. Soon, she began to hang out in the dungeons doing her homework, and hoping to see him from time to time. After a while they'd struck up a small, secret, friendship, that had bloomed over the past year.

Olga was shaken out of her memories abruptly when two arms found their way around her neck and snaked her into a hug. "How's our desperado doing?" came the playful words with an undertone of sadness.

"He's..." Olga replied, trying to find the words.

"Severus," the other girl supplied.

"Yeah," Olga sighed turning to face her friend. "You should have seen his face Nina," she said with small tears hiding behind her eyes, "it's really messed up." Nina sighed as shook her head, eyes looking over her companion's shoulder at the now closed door.

"He'll break soon Olga," she replied. It was a statement, and required no recognition. They both knew that he was on limited time. Remus popped up behind Nina.

"Hey! Where'd you go?" he smiled at her.

Hiding the severity of her previous conversation, Nina smiled in return. "You know I can't stand them Remus," she replied, "and anyway, Olga was over here all alone and we needed to catch up!"

"But didn't you both stay here for holidays?"

"Yes," they girls replied in unison. "But we haven't seen each other for a whole 15 minutes!" smiled Olga, playing along and hoping her concern wasn't as obvious as she felt it was. Remus, apparently none-the-wiser, threw his arms around the pair attempting to lead them back to where he'd left James and Sirius talking about the holiday homework they had yet to finish. Nina refused to budge and turned to look her friend in his large yellow eyes.

"I told you Remus. I can't stand them," she said softly. "I love you dearly, but I refuse to commune with those two rich-boys from London until they learn that the world, however small it is, does not revolve around their egos."

"And to tie their own shoes," Olga added. Remus looked hurt.

"What did they do to you?" he retorted, and both girls flared inside.

"Not now Remus," they replied threateningly.

"I don't see why when I give all your friends equal chances, you still refuse to accept mine!"

"Remus," glared Olga as she placed a firm hand on Nina's shoulder.

At one time it had been Nina's dream to create a group of friends where they all got along and looked out for one another, but her ingenuousness was quickly demolished, and she'd become accustomed to living two lives. This enabled secrets to remain what they were, and yet slowly tore away at her mores and sanity.

"You know damn well," Nina replied slowly, "that it's never what people do to me, Remus." She removed Olga's hand and turned to go up the main staircase to the Ravenclaw Girls' Dormitory, where she could be alone with herself, and her dreams.

-------

Remus stood staring after her as she retreated and knew he'd stepped the invisible line between questioning and attacking. "I didn't mean..."

"Yeah, we know," came Olga's response. "But you know that she only holds grudges against people who attack her friends."

"She's too damn protective for her own good," sighed the werewolf.

"I know," replied Olga for what seemed the tenth time that evening. "Come on," she said dawning her mask of indifference, "lets go get some snacks from the House Elves, and all this stuff will sort itself out by morning." Nodding, Remus followed as she walked him to the kitchen.

_**END CHAPTER ONE! Please Review!**_


	2. Pumpkin Juice

Morning came, and Nina returned, her smile jovial and her eyes blank. Another mask. She looked around the Slytherin table for Olga while enduring endless taunts from the block heads also in Slytherin.

"Hey Ninniwart, looking for your lover girl?" sneered one overly-pimply seventh year. "Gonna go make-out with her in a broom-closet somewhere?"

"Oh why Darnha," Nina replied with a smile after spotting Olga at the end of the table with Severus. "You know we'd never go back into the closet!"

There was no use arguing with rampant stupidity, Nina told herself as she forced her way through the mass of students. It only got you more jeers and closet jokes.

"Hey Nina," Olga smiled through a mouth of bacon and eggs.

"Oh god," the other girl smiled pretending to cover her eyes, "chew and swallow!" Olga flicked her friend and then motioned for her to sit down. "You know I can't," Nina sighed. "Ravenclaw and all that." She pouted. Cheering up, she continued "But, not all is lost, because I have had a wonderful brunch with Twinky the house-elf, and she informs me that dinner tonight is to be of massive proportions. Something about announcing a post-New Years dance or something."

Olga squeeled at the thought as Severus looked pale. "Oh cheer up Sevvie," Olga smiled, tapping him on the head lovingly.

"I don't dance," he muttered into his pumpkin juice.

"Well that's something we're going to have to remedy, now isn't it?" joked Nina as she put her arms around Olga's shoulders. Olga seemed to be off in another world, thinking.

"Nina?" she questioned unexpectedly.

"Yes dearest?"

"Why don't you ever eat in the Great Hall anymore?"

Nina chuckled with relief, she had been afraid it was important. "Because the Ravenclaws call me a traitor, (because I helped you with Trasfiguration...)"

"I thought we'd never speak of that terrible subject again?"

"Oh, right, sorry," Nina said. She wasn't sorry at all. "The Hufflepuffs adore me, which is terrifying in and of itself."

"True," said Severus, finally butting into the conversation. He winced as his smile came into contact with his badly beaten cheek. Olga placed a caring hand on his face and Nina continued, pretending not to see his pain. He wanted it that way.

"The Gryffendors annoy the shit out of me, barring Lupin ofcourse," she smiled fondly. "And most of your lovely Slytherins want to fillet me."

Darnha made a sizzling sound with her eggs.

"How did she," Olga began, and then realized she really didn't want to know. "Come on Nina, sit! It's not like you've ever had a regard for rules before..."

Her friend rolled her eyes. "I break into the teacher's lounge ONCE, and never hear the end of it!"

Severus' eyes got wide. "That was you?"

"How else did you think she knew about your apprenticeship?" Olga questioned.

"Psychic powers?"

"Hah! I wish." Snorted the blonde haired Ravenclaw. "However my dears, since I am currently lacking the urge to feed myself, I'm gonna head on down to Care of Magical Creatures, and probably stop at Rubius'."

"It's not fair that he was expelled..."

"Tell me about it. No one liked Myrtle anyway." Joking seemed the only way to cope with grave matters. "So I'll see you both down there in a few." She unhooked her arms from around her best friend's neck, and planted a kiss on both her and Severus' heads.

Olga's eyes followed Nina as she parted the red sea of students and progressed onward. She was soon jarred from her thoughts by Severus' voice.

"Is something wrong with her?" he asked concerned.

"She's just...having trouble coping." Olga replied, hoping that detail would not be necessary. Her hopes were in vain.

"With what?"

"The fact that every time you come back, you're more badly bruised than the last time, and she has to stand idly by and watch you suffer. She wants..."

"I know." Severus sighed. "I don't think anyone can help me."

Olga placed a reassuring arm around his skinny waist and pulled him closer to her. "We just want to see you happy, see you loving."

Severus replied by borrowing his head into her shoulder briefly. It was enough.

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_Sorry about the shortness of this chapter! After making you guys wait so long for an update I feel like 10 shades of suck making this so short. But I'm tired, (just got home from church, ugh), and I thought that something was better than nothing! PLEASE REVIEW, I love you all!_

_-QOS_


	3. Rockhard Scones and Rainbow Stones

Nina walked out of the massive front doors and stopped to take in the immense beauty of the Hogwarts grounds. Students lay on blankets in the perfect snow as owls swooped in and out of the castle overhead. Fairies popped up in clouds over the Forbidden Forest and over all it was the perfect New Year scene. Smiling reverently, she wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck and trudged her way through the snow toward the small, homey-looking, cabin near the edge of the woods.

That horrible boy, Tom was it? Had gotten her friend expelled for keeping a pet. Everyone knew it wasn't the spider, but no one chose to speak up until it was too late, and Rubius Hagrid had his wand snapped and his wizarding privileges revoked. It, like so many others, was something Nina had never been able to forgive herself for. She had _wanted_ to believe that a spider had killed Myrtle. They all had known...

Before too long, she had reached the cobblestone steps that lead up to the wooden structure. A fire was blazing inside the little cottage, lighting it up with it's warmth. Nina knocked quickly on the door, and was answered by sharp barks and a deep kind voice.

"Fang, shut yur yappin'." A young Rubius Hagrid, with scruffy hair and twinkling eyes, stooped as he opened the door. "Nina!" he smiled ushering her inside.

"Rubius," she returned the smile and gladly entered the warm cottage. She could hear tea in the kettle, and although Hagrid's was usually suspect, she gladly accepted a cup with her mitten encased hands. She sat down silently in an oversized chair at the opposite end of the table from his large dog and sipped contemplatively.

Hagrid, wiping his hands on a dish towel, didn't miss a beat. "Wha's on yer mind?" Who ever knew a fifteen year old boy could possibly be perceptive? Nina laughed into her tea.

"Nothing escapes you does it Rubius?"

"Your logic does sometimes," smiled the half giant.

"Well, you're in good company. It escapes me most of the time as well," Nina absentmindedly stirred her tea with a rock-hard scone. "I don't know Rubius," she continued. "I can't seem to control myself anymore. I'm lashing out at the people I care about, and can't talk about anything unless I'm using it as a joke. I don't feel like me anymore."

Hagrid sighed and sat down across the table from her. "Yeh know yer a year older than me, and yer still askin' me fer advice?"

"Yes dear," she smiled weakly, "Yes I am."

"Well, I don't have anything Nina," he sighed again. "But I think you should apologize to Remus."

Nina started. "How did you...?"

"I didn't, but now I do."

Nina smiled and finished her tea, proceeding to throw her scone in Hagrid's general direction. "You're smart, stick to what you're good at, and buy scones next time." Hagrid chuckled and walked her to the door.

-------

Shesighed as she continued on her way toward the northern edge of the Forbidden Forest. Hagrid had seemed happy enough. When passing the Great Lake, she recognized a down trodden figure hunched over on the bench.

Remus looked up as he heard approaching footsteps in the snow. Nina. "Hey," he said furtively, "about last night..."

"Don't," Nina said. "It's not your fault. There are just things...going on beneath the surface, as you might say." Or more visibly on the surface, she thought to herself.

"I know," Remus said scooting more down the bench to create a place for Nina to sit. "But I have my own troubles you know?"

Nina put an arm around his shoulders. "I know," she replied. "Care to elaborate?" Nina looked at her watch. Care of Magical Creatures had started ten minutes ago. Oh well, she hadn't had anything planned for tonight anyway. Detention seemed like a good way to pass the time. She pulled her friend closer and kissed him on the head. His golden-brown hair was soft, and smelled of cherries.

"Well you already know about," he gestured to one of his scars. She closed her eyes solemnly and nodded. At that moment she vowed to, if she ever found that retched wolf that inflicted such a malady as werewolf-ism onto a 7 year old boy, she would do everything in her power to make them pay.

"But then there's," he stopped and looked her in the eyes, begging for some sort of reassurance. "There's the fact that, well," he couldn't bring himself to say it as a tear dripped silently down his marked up face. Wiping it off with her hand, Nina pleaded silently for some way to know what was troubling her friend without having to make him go through the pain of telling her.

Her eyes fell to the ring n his left hand middle finger. The ring she'd seen a thousand times, but never really noticed. It was silver, and the same width as a wedding band, but in the middle, where there once was a blue stone for Remus' birth month, lay a rainbow glass ball. Feeling so stupid not to have noticed, she cried out quietly and pulled him into a hug.

"It's ok," she whispered as she felt her robes soak up his tears, "it'll be ok." He nodded weakly into her chest, and although part of her was glad to know that Remus was indeed gay, and could possibly reciprocate _his_ feelings...part of her cried inside.

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_Next chapter will be mainly from Olga's POV, but I felt it necessary to explain Nina a little more. (And to establish a flowering plot.) I'm again sorry for the shortness of this chapter, but it's longer than the last one, and certainly more interesting. Please review..._

_QOS_


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